Begging Kids To Help...

As I've said before, Billy and I attempted to use many "Love and Logic" techniques when working with our foster kids...Just thought I'd post some interesting info from one of their recent newsletters...

 

While the Love and Logic^® approach doesn't teach parents to be bossy or demanding, we do recognize that there are times when we simply need our kids to help us right away. Listed below are some steps for making this happen.

 

Step One: Make sure that you are doing a good job of helping your kids when they ask you.

 

Step Two: Ensure that they have something they really value. At a later date, losing this item or privilege can be used as a consequence.

 

Step Three: Hope and pray that they will either refuse or "forget" to do something you ask them to do for you "right away."

 

Step Four: In a sweet and respectful tone of voice, ask them to do something for you "right now."

 

Step Five: When they refuse or "forget," let them think that everything is just fine. Don't say a word. Later in the day, or possibly later in the week, say something like, "I love you so much. I've noticed that you don't think it's important to help me when I ask you to do things for me right away. The sad thing is that this shows me that you aren't really mature enough to have_______________________." (Insert mp3 player, cell phone, driving privileges, etc.)

 

Another strategy involves saying, "This is so sad. I love you so much. I _________________ (Insert iron clothes, drive places, buy nice snacks, etc.) for kids who help me quickly when I ask them to.”

 

Of course, displaying empathy, resisting the urge to lecture, and holding firm will make the difference between success and failure.

 

For more tips on getting kids to comply without having to beg, listen to my CD, Oh Great! What Do I Do Now?

 

For those of you in Arizona, I'll be in Phoenix on Wednesday, March 30. Register here or call 800-338-4065 for additional information.

 

Thanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.

 

Dr. Charles Fay